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Best of Autocorrect

damonssalvatoree:

lordofthedawn:

rocknrollercoaster:

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I got to “Dad” and had to scroll down and reblog for a break because I laughed so hard I nearly threw up twice.

"Killing her seems a bit harsh"

(via yuuko-uchiha)

(Source: fake-mermaid, via tyleroakley)

(Source: robert-downeyy, via yuuko-uchiha)

*93
ventai:

dungeon-crowley:

the-amazin-flyin-jakben:

oh my word

.. i don’t even know what to say.

ventai:

dungeon-crowley:

the-amazin-flyin-jakben:

oh my word

.. i don’t even know what to say.

(Source: iraffiruse, via myhappylittlefanbubble)

lucaspsi:

shotarokaneda:

this dog is part husky part lab

the split is straight down the middle, quite literally

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LOOK AT THIS!!! It looks like two different dogs! She literally got looks from both sides of her parents! JUST IMAGINE HOW HAPPY THEY MUST BE!!!!!

(Source: superstreetfighter2turbohdremix, via myhappylittlefanbubble)

poppypicklesticks:

collegehumor:

This HR dept doesn’t negotiate with Terrorists.

Finish reading This Is The Most Passive-Agressive Office Note Battle We’ve Ever Seen

That sandwich person sounds like a real cunt.

I’d just lace my next sandwich with the strongest laxatives I could find.   See how they like that. 

(via myhappylittlefanbubble)

unamusedsloth:

Ducklings have great brakes.

unamusedsloth:

Ducklings have great brakes.

(via tyleroakley)

itsstuckyinmyhead:

Odd Romeo and Juliet Tumblr Posts

(via yuuko-uchiha)

ahjareyn:

edenwolfie:

just-raowolf:

edenwolfie:

my year 8 students had to do a budgeting activity pretending they were living out of home on $2000 a month and I find this written on there help I can’t fucking breathe

We had to do this and I was partnered with a boy whose parents are a scientist and a doctor. My family spawned the book: Top Drawer Villain - autobiography of a London criminal.
First of all, we had to choose where we would shop. He wanted to buy from Booths. “We are not buying from Booths," I snapped. "Get on Asda’s website right now." His face froze.
“A-Asda?" he whispered. "But that’s where… The Lower Classes shop.”
This was a good start.
We then had to decide on a menu. We started on breakfast. “Toast," he said.
“Toast," I said. "Great. Look, Asda has its own wholemeal—”
“Warburton’s thick-slice white bread. Nothing else. With olive oil.”
“You WHAT?" I choked. "You have olive oil, on your toast, in the morning?”
He frowned. “Who doesn’t?”
“Okay," I said, "but what will the children eat?”
He gaped at me. “The children? We have children?”
We continued. All was well until it came to what we would have on our sandwiches. We even sorted out the children’s lunch - they, of course, would get free school meals. “Yes," he agreed; "if we can’t even afford Bertolli then they can get school meals on the government.”
He asked what dressing we should have on our ham. “Nuh-uh," I said. "Can’t have ham. I’m vegetarian.”
“But I’m not.”
“Yes, but we’re married and we can only afford one sandwich filler so it has to be vege—”
“We’re married!?”
“Of course we’re married! You’re devout Christian - how do you think I convinced you to have children?”
He shook his head, frowning. “Well I want ham. You’ll have to put back the washing powder - I need ham on my sandwiches.”
We continued. Finally, it was dinner. “Okay," he said, clearly thinking hard; "for dinner, we can have… Chicken nuggets and… Beans?”
“Vegetarian.”
“Vegetarian nuggets then. And beans.”
“We need vegetables. The children have to have a balanced diet.”
“You and your children!" he yelled, and the whole class looked around.
“They’re your children too!" I screamed back.
He leapt to his feet, shaking his head and looking distraught. “I don’t believe it - I don’t believe you! I wouldn’t have your children!”
“Please," I cried, standing up also. "Don’t—”
“I want a divorce!”
And he walked out of the classroom.
The teacher stood up and stared between me and the door through which he had vanished. “I’m sorry," I whispered, "but we couldn’t do it any more. There were just too many differences - I can’t live with someone who thinks champagne is a budget.”
I can’t wait to see this guy when he gets to university.

holy shit that’s glorious

I wish I lived in a world where $2000/month was the starting budget for striking it out on your own…

ahjareyn:

edenwolfie:

just-raowolf:

edenwolfie:

my year 8 students had to do a budgeting activity pretending they were living out of home on $2000 a month and I find this written on there help I can’t fucking breathe

We had to do this and I was partnered with a boy whose parents are a scientist and a doctor. My family spawned the book: Top Drawer Villain - autobiography of a London criminal.

First of all, we had to choose where we would shop. He wanted to buy from Booths. “We are not buying from Booths," I snapped. "Get on Asda’s website right now." His face froze.

A-Asda?" he whispered. "But that’s where… The Lower Classes shop.

This was a good start.

We then had to decide on a menu. We started on breakfast. “Toast," he said.

Toast," I said. "Great. Look, Asda has its own wholemeal—

Warburton’s thick-slice white bread. Nothing else. With olive oil.

You WHAT?" I choked. "You have olive oil, on your toast, in the morning?

He frowned. “Who doesn’t?

Okay," I said, "but what will the children eat?

He gaped at me. “The children? We have children?

We continued. All was well until it came to what we would have on our sandwiches. We even sorted out the children’s lunch - they, of course, would get free school meals. “Yes," he agreed; "if we can’t even afford Bertolli then they can get school meals on the government.

He asked what dressing we should have on our ham. “Nuh-uh," I said. "Can’t have ham. I’m vegetarian.

But I’m not.

Yes, but we’re married and we can only afford one sandwich filler so it has to be vege—

We’re married!?

Of course we’re married! You’re devout Christian - how do you think I convinced you to have children?

He shook his head, frowning. “Well I want ham. You’ll have to put back the washing powder - I need ham on my sandwiches.

We continued. Finally, it was dinner. “Okay," he said, clearly thinking hard; "for dinner, we can have… Chicken nuggets and… Beans?

Vegetarian.

Vegetarian nuggets then. And beans.

We need vegetables. The children have to have a balanced diet.

You and your children!" he yelled, and the whole class looked around.

They’re your children too!" I screamed back.

He leapt to his feet, shaking his head and looking distraught. “I don’t believe it - I don’t believe you! I wouldn’t have your children!

Please," I cried, standing up also. "Don’t—

I want a divorce!

And he walked out of the classroom.

The teacher stood up and stared between me and the door through which he had vanished. “I’m sorry," I whispered, "but we couldn’t do it any more. There were just too many differences - I can’t live with someone who thinks champagne is a budget.

I can’t wait to see this guy when he gets to university.

holy shit that’s glorious

I wish I lived in a world where $2000/month was the starting budget for striking it out on your own…

littlecofiegirl:

illexplain:

itsybitsysleddogs:

illexplain:

peble:

itsybitsysleddogs:

Just hanging out!

its tiny

whats up with the husky chihuahua?

She is an alaskan klee kai, a pure breed of dog, completely unrelated to a chihuahua.
Klee kai are a rare breed of dog that resembles a small husky. She is also very small for breed

honestly thank you so much. 

I WANT A HUNDRED!

(via xiaopa25)